Isn't the spontaneity of time one of the most interesting surprises and pleasures that life has to offer? Just when we seemingly come to the end of road, just before giving up on the idea that good things can happen still and take us completely off guard, it happens.
I have to admit that for most of my life I have been a hopeFUL romantic, never hopeless. We are a rare breed these days, once having populated every corner of the country with blushing, batting eyed beauties fainting at the mere touch of the dashing young man lifting us to our feet and leading us out onto the dance floor for the heart-pounding romantic slow dance.
I've often wondered whatever happened to that innocent expectation for romance from the opposite sex? What has happened to the dream of a true love blossoming between two people, one that is gentle and pure and uplifting in a way that that nothing else compares to it? I think most of us have endured such selfish heartbreak that we simply stop putting our hearts out there risking yet again possible pain.
We try on our lovers like winter coats on the clearance rack in summer or we walk around kicking their tires and giving them a test drive like the price slashed car on so many used car lots. People shouldn't be tried on or used for a while until we grow tired of them and want the next new toy. People have hearts and minds and dreams and desires and souls, all quite fragile and exposed when it comes to opening up and trying to trust the person we have feelings for.
It is all worth it, really. The pain we endure through all of those heartbreaks. To not give into fear and refuse to hope or trust again, but to tough it out, cry it out, let the wounds heal and scar back over. How resilient the human heart can be.
I am so grateful for each one that I have loved. Each one has taught me more about what it is I do truly want from a mate and what it is that I wish to change about myself. It isn't at all about what we can get from them or what they can do for us. The truest of motives behind love is self-sacrificing. Not merely wishing to be with them, but knowing in our hearts that if we are not with them, we will no longer be whole.
I feel that love again, God has blessed me to feel that surge of excited bliss. The comfort of knowing you are cared for so deeply by that one person out there that not only knows you well, but wants to know you more. We all want that, to be understood or to be truly seen and heard by at least one person is a wonderful thing. For it to happen when you weren't looking or paying attention, but at the precise moment you feel you've finally gotten yourself really together so you can offer that other person the very best of yourself that you have to offer...well that is even better than the young love I've felt before.
He makes me feel feminine and beautiful, intelligent and desirable. I have someone that cares if I make it home from work every day and is upset when I am upset, sad when I am sad. I have someone that I can share my work stories with and to tell my corny jokes too and he still loves me in spite of that torture. I have someone that encourages me to better myself while at the same time thinks that I am perfect just the way I am. It is acceptance, belonging, unconditional love and it is wonderful.
I feel like I am a better version of myself than before. Not only am I open to receive more love, but I am also open to give more love because of the abundance I feel. I feel closer to my God and my family and at the same time so full of courage and confidence that I am at long last willing to take those risks that I have been too fearful to try before.
Life seems to glow for me right now, every dawn and every setting of sun seems to hold within it endless possibilities and innumerable moments of such joy I cannot help but to laugh all of the time, smile all of the time, and want to spread that goodness everywhere I go. All because I am accepted, understood, desired, valued and respected by another and I feel the same for him as well.
Why has it worked out for the two of us right now and not before or with other people? I have learned to quote the famous poet, "Ours is not to question why, ours is but to do or to die." It is because it is. I am not going to waste any time analyzing it or explaining it or justifying it to anyone else. I am just going to enjoy it and give it the best I have to give.
It took 40 years for me to finally find that special someone that sees the me that no one else can see. And I married him and am going to love him for it for the rest of my life.
I have to admit that for most of my life I have been a hopeFUL romantic, never hopeless. We are a rare breed these days, once having populated every corner of the country with blushing, batting eyed beauties fainting at the mere touch of the dashing young man lifting us to our feet and leading us out onto the dance floor for the heart-pounding romantic slow dance.
I've often wondered whatever happened to that innocent expectation for romance from the opposite sex? What has happened to the dream of a true love blossoming between two people, one that is gentle and pure and uplifting in a way that that nothing else compares to it? I think most of us have endured such selfish heartbreak that we simply stop putting our hearts out there risking yet again possible pain.
We try on our lovers like winter coats on the clearance rack in summer or we walk around kicking their tires and giving them a test drive like the price slashed car on so many used car lots. People shouldn't be tried on or used for a while until we grow tired of them and want the next new toy. People have hearts and minds and dreams and desires and souls, all quite fragile and exposed when it comes to opening up and trying to trust the person we have feelings for.
It is all worth it, really. The pain we endure through all of those heartbreaks. To not give into fear and refuse to hope or trust again, but to tough it out, cry it out, let the wounds heal and scar back over. How resilient the human heart can be.
I am so grateful for each one that I have loved. Each one has taught me more about what it is I do truly want from a mate and what it is that I wish to change about myself. It isn't at all about what we can get from them or what they can do for us. The truest of motives behind love is self-sacrificing. Not merely wishing to be with them, but knowing in our hearts that if we are not with them, we will no longer be whole.
I feel that love again, God has blessed me to feel that surge of excited bliss. The comfort of knowing you are cared for so deeply by that one person out there that not only knows you well, but wants to know you more. We all want that, to be understood or to be truly seen and heard by at least one person is a wonderful thing. For it to happen when you weren't looking or paying attention, but at the precise moment you feel you've finally gotten yourself really together so you can offer that other person the very best of yourself that you have to offer...well that is even better than the young love I've felt before.
He makes me feel feminine and beautiful, intelligent and desirable. I have someone that cares if I make it home from work every day and is upset when I am upset, sad when I am sad. I have someone that I can share my work stories with and to tell my corny jokes too and he still loves me in spite of that torture. I have someone that encourages me to better myself while at the same time thinks that I am perfect just the way I am. It is acceptance, belonging, unconditional love and it is wonderful.
I feel like I am a better version of myself than before. Not only am I open to receive more love, but I am also open to give more love because of the abundance I feel. I feel closer to my God and my family and at the same time so full of courage and confidence that I am at long last willing to take those risks that I have been too fearful to try before.
Life seems to glow for me right now, every dawn and every setting of sun seems to hold within it endless possibilities and innumerable moments of such joy I cannot help but to laugh all of the time, smile all of the time, and want to spread that goodness everywhere I go. All because I am accepted, understood, desired, valued and respected by another and I feel the same for him as well.
Why has it worked out for the two of us right now and not before or with other people? I have learned to quote the famous poet, "Ours is not to question why, ours is but to do or to die." It is because it is. I am not going to waste any time analyzing it or explaining it or justifying it to anyone else. I am just going to enjoy it and give it the best I have to give.
It took 40 years for me to finally find that special someone that sees the me that no one else can see. And I married him and am going to love him for it for the rest of my life.
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